Relationship Advice

Reading Between The Lines

man

I met this wonderful lady a few years ago. We talked on the phone two weeks before we saw a movie together. The next time we met she came over with her daughter.

When she left, I gave her a little kiss because I was interested in her as a friend. I like to be friends with a woman first. That same night I told her I was going out with my friends, and she asked if she could call me afterwards. I said yes.

Well, she did. She came over and one thing led to another. I felt bad we had sex because I like to go slow with women because of my past relationships. The next night she came over again. I told her we needed to get to know each other first. Well, she got the wrong picture and burst into tears.

So I gave it a shot. Sometimes you got to gamble. Stuff just happens when two people have sparks for each other.

So we were an item. It took me awhile to fall for her because of my past, but eventually I did. She started to fall for me right away, but after a while she said she didn't have feelings for me anymore. I was hurt. I'm a nice sensitive guy with a big caring heart.

So we broke up. What I told her two years ago, she tells me now. She wants to be friends. It's not just her that I'm hurting about. There is the relationship between me and her daughter. Her daughter is six now. I love this little girl like my own. We did things as a family.

In between there have been a couple of other women but nothing serious. We still talk to each other a lot and hang out, but my feelings for her went away. Some days we don't talk, and then all of a sudden I go over and watch a movie and spend time with her daughter.

But once we started to get along as friends, I started to have feelings for her again. I'm confused. I care very much about this woman now. I think we like being companions with each other. It's like we are best friends. Do you have any advice for me?

Conor


Conor, ancient Germanic peoples wrote in runes, which are like letters in the alphabet except they contain something more. Each rune is said to allude to a hidden energy behind what is actually written.

Reading your original letter, as you wrote it, is like trying to decipher runes. You wrote, "I wanted her as a friend." Except you put an extra s on the word "as." Then you said the second night you were together, you wanted to know her, but you spelled the word "know" as n-o. Finally you described your current relationship as "best friends," but what you actually typed was "beast friends."

You are at war with yourself. You've never been able to decide what this connection is about.

Your relationship is like a coat that doesn't fit, doesn't keep you warm and needs repair. But you won't do anything about it, so nothing gets resolved. You are still cold, the coat still doesn't fit and it still needs repair.

If you two stayed together, for both of you, it would be just settling for the familiar. There is no sense the relationship is building, bettering or blossoming.

Stop writing in runes. Get to the plain meaning of what you want from life.

Wayne & Tamara