Relationship Advice

Promises, Promises

woman with folded arms

I've been seeing a man three years. We first went out for a year and a half, but he moved back home because his teenage kids made his life a living hell.

I could see what it was doing to him. With a lot of tears on both sides, he returned. I kept away because I did not think I could handle the heartbreak if it happened again.

Eventually he called and asked to see me. (He and his wife never got along, and she had a previous affair, as had he.) He wanted me back, wanted to live with me and ultimately get married. I asked if he was 100% positive. He emphatically said yes.

He moved into a friend's place and began staying over four nights a week. His wife was bitter and his kids wouldn't speak to him. Still, we managed to have a great relationship. We spent time riding on his motorcycle, staying at different places on the weekend. I looked forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

A few months ago, he grew moody. Last Saturday night I had to know what the problem was. After listing complaints about me, he said he couldn't see a future for us. He then jumped into bed and turned off the light! I turned it back on, and he nastily said, "I guess I'm in for an inquisition now."

I couldn't believe it. I asked him to leave and he seemed surprised. When he was just out the door, he said he thought we needed time apart. I closed the door.

Overall, we seemed to be a good match. If he calls saying he made a mistake and wants to come back, I'm not sure I will be strong enough to say no. I know I must because he has now broken my heart twice.

I have all his clothes, which I'll leave at security for him to pick up. I'm waiting for him to call so I can ask him to return my key.

Maryanne


Maryanne, in 1858 a Scottish policeman died. For the next 14 years his faithful Skye Terrier guarded his master's grave until he, too, passed away. That famous dog is known as Greyfriars Bobby.

Recent research suggests the story was a fabrication by the cemetery keeper and a restaurant owner to boost tourism. The original dog was simply a mutt who hung around the cemetery, and when he died, the co-conspirators replaced him with a Skye Terrier.

You didn't say you are perfect for one another. You didn't say he loves you deeply. You told us he likes crazymaking with his wife. He takes a sabbatical to have sex with another woman, returns home, then does it again.

That's what he likes, and he put his teenagers through this once, then put them through it again. He doesn't care about anyone but himself.

We hoped you wouldn't say you left his clothes with security and will ask for your key back. We hoped you would say, "I cut his clothes into one-inch squares, mailed them back to his wife, and called a locksmith."

You are enthralled with him, but we wouldn't call it love. When love is not reciprocated, then it is something else.

The story of Greyfriars Bobby may be false, but it doesn't undo the incredible true stories of dog loyalty. Though this man's story of love is false, it doesn't undo the incredible true stories of couples who would quite literally die for each other.

Wayne & Tamara