This Week - Relationship Math
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. I love him very much, and I am happy in our relationship. But the problem is…I love his personality. I've never met anyone with whom I am so compatible, enjoyed being around, and so forth. But sometimes…I don't really find him attractive.
I think the way he smiles is cute and things like that. But I don't see him walking through the room and think, "He looks so good." I mean, it's not a big problem for me. I've never really dated based on looks. But my question is…do you think a relationship can last even if you don't find the other person physically attractive? Am I horrible for thinking this?
Kris, in algebra there are two kinds of relationships: equalities and inequalities. An equality is an equation. It says two things are equal. In relationships, it's like saying my total feelings are equal to, or add up to, love.
An inequality says one thing approaches another thing in value, but does not equal it. To a greater or lesser extent, the first thing fails to be the second. That's what you have with your boyfriend. There are things you like about him and things you dislike. That's an inequality, a relationship out of balance.
Wayne & Tamara
Send letters to: WriteDirectAnswers@gmail.com