This Week - No Call List
I am 34 and honestly care about a man, 50. Three years ago I got his number from his brother and called him. During the entire time I have always called him except for two times he called me for information, but not to chat. Our conversations flow smoothly, and I think we have a lot in common. When I call him, he sounds happy to hear from me.
I asked him twice if he was interested in dating, and he mentioned he hadn't gotten over his wife's death. Another time I asked him out and he said yes, but we never went anywhere. My family tells me to forget him and stop calling. Am I kidding myself? I consider him a friend but would like something more.
Sabrina, some people don't know how to get off the phone. They feel it traps them between lying and being hurtful. Perhaps at 50 he is simply old-school, which means he thinks a person should never be rude, never be impolite, and never fib. He sounds like a man who follows John Henry Newman's definition of a gentleman: someone who never knowingly inflicts pain on another.
Want and desperation can be like a devil sitting on our shoulder. They block our rationality. When that happens we need to pull back so we don't embarrass ourselves or harm others. This man's politeness doesn't make him your lover or confidante. Do him a kindness and stop calling.
Wayne & Tamara
Send letters to: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com