Featured Short Letter

This Week - Old Business

I have decided to divorce my husband. I have done everything I could to save this marriage. I am so worn out and angry with myself for not leaving sooner.

One of his retorts is, "What took you so long to figure out you are miserable?" That implies I am so dumb I don't know what's good for me. My question is, how can someone who has everything on the ball, fall victim to this and not make a move before now?

Neva

Neva, people are loss-averse. They hold on to losing stocks and bad investments far too long because to cash them out is to admit an error. We all have a terrible time admitting mistakes, and that is why you held on for so long.

Wayne & Tamara

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Last Week - Low Road

I have been dating my girlfriend a year. We dated a couple of months while she was still living with her previous long-term ex. Officially she was cheating, however, I figured our association was a stepping-stone out of what she called "a difficult relationship."

I recently learned she cheated on him several times over many years. I recoiled at this. She explained the latest of these episodes was eight years ago. This casts doubt on my belief she could be faithful to me. Should I pull the plug before I get in too deep, or give her the benefit of the doubt and proceed with caution?

Barry

Barry, the last time she cheated wasn't eight years ago. It was a few months ago. With you. How can you give your heart cautiously? Why don't you realize momentum may keep you with her when your worst fears are realized?

Wayne & Tamara

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Two Weeks Ago - Young Spaniards

I was hoping you could make my decision for me. I hate living in Spain and hate everything about it! The problem lies with my girlfriend of 11 years and our two sons, seven years and 10 months. My girlfriend is Spanish and does not want to move back to Great Britain.

I have been in Spain for five years off and on, and my girlfriend says, if I go, not to return. Would I be wrong to move back to Britain and leave them behind? Or should I stay and feel more depressed? Whatever way I turn, I am the loser.

Edward

Edward, you aren't the loser. The children are. The children didn't cause you to be in Spain, and they didn't cause you to go back and forth. You weren't too miserable to create a new life only a short time ago.

All we can do is clarify what you are saying. Even in a short letter you told us who you are. "It is all about me." It appears the children are damned if you stay, and damned if you leave.

Wayne & Tamara

Send letters to: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com