Featured Short Letter

This Week - Second Hand Rose

I am a full-time college student. Two months ago my boyfriend went away for training. On the day he left, as I entered my car in a rush to work, he handed me a ring and asked that I wear it and also specified it was not an engagement ring but a promise ring. The ring was very nice and barely fit my ring finger. I gave him a kiss goodbye and off I was.

After taking a closer look during my drive, I realized this ring looked strangely familiar. One night early in our relationship he pulled out this box and showed me a wedding ring set which belonged to his ex-wife. I have a good eye and know for a fact the ring he gave was not new or purchased specifically for me. It's the wedding ring from the set. We agreed I will move in with him after I graduate. Am I wrong for feeling offended?

Misty

Misty, isn't that special! He gave you another woman's wedding ring that doesn't even fit. Is he planning on making you his next ex-wife?

Regifting is most often done for people we don't care about. His was a secondhand promise with a secondhand ring. Don't have a second thought about returning it.

Tamara

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Last Week - Skin Deep

I divorced five years ago after an emotionally abusive marriage. Two years ago I met a man I have feelings for, but he is about 40 pounds overweight with a big belly. When we met some of the first words out of his mouth were, "I am in the process of losing weight and do not like being fat."

He has come a long way, but he does not stick with it. I cannot get physically attracted to him when he is heavy, yet I know if he were fit, I would be. When he gains I feel repulsed by the way he eats and his choice of food. Despite our common interests, my feelings are now changing toward the platonic. I am resigned that he will never lose the weight he needs to.

People say if I truly loved him his weight would not matter. While I do not want to walk away from what could be my other half, I do not want to put more time into a dead end.

Terry

Terry, Shakespeare said some people are born great while others have greatness thrust upon them. You are hoping this man will have thinness thrust upon him, but it doesn't work that way. You see his potential as a thin male, but it is up to him to recognize and realize his own potential.

It is not just his weight. You are not in love with him. What he looks like is more important than who he is. If you stay with him, every meal will become a struggle between playing food cop and being turned off.

If you had other options, you would not be writing us. It is not that you are walking away from your other half; it is that you don't have someone else to date right now. End this relationship, move on, and don't date anyone you cannot fully accept.

Wayne & Tamara

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Two Weeks Ago - Crime And Punishment

One of my male friends has been cheating on his girlfriend (also a friend) for the past year and a half. They are now looking to buy a house together, but he is still cheating and willing to cheat until he gets caught! I can't tell her as I don't want to hurt her, and I have the feeling she would forgive him anyway and blame the other person.

Problem is, the other person is me! I just wish a year and a half ago I never told him I didn't want a relationship, because now I do. We see each other whenever we can, though it's more of a sexual thing. As time goes on I've fallen for him and love meeting him, even if it's just for sex.

Kylie

Kylie, a survey of college professors found that 94 percent think they are above average professors. That's self-deception on a mass scale, and your letter is self-deception on an individual scale.

When you betray a friend, you are no friend. When you let a man think you are a goodtime girl to get a date, you've found someone not worth dating. If you don't change, you will not only be alone without a man, but alone without friends.

Our wish is that you surround yourself with people like yourself. If you change, that will be your reward. If you don't, it will be your punishment.

Wayne & Tamara

Send letters to: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com