Relationship Advice

Making Excuses

young woman

I am deeply infatuated with my best friend. We both worked for the same company, and one day I was running an important request for a guest. As I turned a corner in the hallway, I literally ran into him, spilling coffee all over his shirt and pants.

That chance encounter sent fireworks throughout my body. Over time our relationship blossomed, in part due to our similar taste in music. Unfortunately, our careers took separate paths, but our love of music became an excuse to occasionally meet for lunch.

I've never been able to declare my true feelings because he's married. However, it's to a woman who has given more rides than Greyhound. Can I justify my love to him because of her promiscuity?

I tend to consume copious amounts of alcohol daily to drown my feelings of inadequacy, which is multiplied by the fact I am unemployed. If I continue down this path, I'm afraid I'll never find happiness.

Martina


Martina, you want to steal her husband. Do you steal people's cars, too? The owner of this car is not taking care of this car. It's not washed and waxed, and it's badly parked. I think I should go ahead and take her car.

He's married. When a tag on an item in a store says Sold, that tells customers not to set their heart on it. In spite of seeing the sold sign, in spite of knowing he has not made a move on you, you believe you are a better choice for him than she is.

But you are not a good relationship choice for anyone. Not now.

What are you thinking? "My life is a mess. If I get this married man, it will magically fix everything." You've defined your problem to deceive yourself, so you don't have to do anything about being drunk and unemployed.

Wayne & Tamara

First Impressions

I'm 30, female, recently divorced. I met a kind of bad guy shortly after and he strung me along for months. For sex is my only guess.

Recently I met another guy, a friend's brother, who doesn't even live in my time zone. He started texting and calling. He seemed super sweet, nice and attentive. He came for a visit two weeks after this started and stayed the first two nights at my house.

The first night we just cuddled. The second night we fooled around. I was kind of shy. After that he gave me the cold shoulder and stopped texting. I found out two nights later he stayed in a neighboring town with a girl he just met.

There were signs from my friend he wasn't good, but he seemed so different when we texted, until he stayed the night. Why do I feel so crappy when it was so short and not even a relationship?

Saige

Saige, a girl thinks she's shy but lets a man she barely knows spend the night at her house. You didn't give the guy a chance to know you and work toward that.

You are like an unattended convertible with an iPhone, a purse and big screen TV in the back seat. Someone is going to take advantage of the situation.

You're using a cheat to get a man. After that first impression you want him to care about you, but you will never undo that first impression.

Why do you feel so bad when it was so short and not even a relationship? Because being easy isn't easy.

Wayne & Tamara